Disclaimer: the three words have more than four letters and do not have to be censored with fun symbols like #@%. Maybe I’ll save that for a future post. Now on to the real story.
This month I am focusing on the word “courage”. I’m sure you are wondering why I am sharing the story of my journey through graduate school while referencing the word courage. I know there are thousands of people that make that journey every year, so I’m really no different than the next person. Just to be very clear, I know there are people that do way more courageous things than go back to school. This post is not for them. It’s for the people that may think they can’t go back to school because they’re too busy, or they’ve been out of school for years and the thought of homework, research papers, and exams are down right terrifying. I had the same fears, but somehow I muddled through about three and a half years of it and came out alive. To be honest, I experienced an exponential amount of growth and confidence throughout my journey.
The journey started in August of 2016. It’s important to understand that this was 13 long years after I graduated from college the first time. Not only that, but during those thirteen years I did some things. I landed a full-time career (which changed directions at least four times, but that’s for another post), I married this amazing guy and then we had babies. Two boys to be exact. All these things are part of my journey and brought me to where I am now. Literally, now means on my back porch enjoying a day off from work and writing. Figuratively, now means an MBA graduate that learned a lot more than what my assignments, exams and research papers could have ever imagined.
First Word: Courage
I was terrified of taking the leap and applying for graduate school. I mean, could I even pass the entrance exam at this point? I had no idea and the thought of even trying and potentially failing made me want to hide in a corner and never come out. Confession time, I’m a life-long perfectionist. There, the truth comes out. I have the overwhelming need to know everything, even the overall outcome of things, before I feel comfortable doing it. It’s crazy and debilitating all at the same time. Luckily, I have a great support group and they are known as my family. From my husband to my mom and even the in-laws, they provided me with the support I needed to step out of my C-zone and go for something more.
I took the first step and applied and then I studied for the entrance exam. Funnily enough, my oldest son (a mere seven years old at the time) helped me with some of the math practice questions. You can imagine how intelligent I felt at that point. The second step came easier than the first, which was actually signing up for my first graduate course. I didn’t know what to expect once it started, but I was in and it was time to do the work.
All of this to say, I was scared of taking the leap, but I did it anyway. In my own words, that’s the definition of courage. Looking back, of course I am happy I took the first steps. Without them I would never have realized the other two words I learned about on this journey.
Second Word: Confidence
In high school you could always find me walking the halls, sometimes with my head down, unwilling to make eye contact with others. Not because I was unfriendly or “too good” to speak to anyone, but because I didn’t think anyone cared if I spoke to them or not. I was quiet, shy, and assumed I was the last person on earth anyone cared to talk to or be friends with. Good grief, high school is tough and reminscing on that part of my life makes me sad for her. Confidence in myself was nonexistent, but that all began to change when I experienced college for the first time. After being on a college campus for two semesters, I began seeing a change in myself. My confidence level increased incrementally after I was elected president of a co-ed business fraternity. At the time, I thought my confidence had peaked, but that all would change over the next several years.
Various experiences helped shape my confidence, like the times that I am required to speak in public at board meetings for my current career. Of course, the more times I’m in front of an audience the better I get at it. Every time I’m finished I feel a sense of accomplishment. But the real kicker for me came more recently when I finished my last graduate course. After submitting my final assignment and taking my final exam, I immediately began crying (okay, okay…I was practically sobbing). The overwhelming feeling of knowing I actually made it through three and a half years of graduate work all while taking care of my kids, being a wife and working full-time made me feel like I could do anything. ANYTHING! That, my friend, is confidence.
Third Word: Determination
When I started the journey through graduate school, I was unsure of what to expect. Every time I enrolled in a new course, I felt extremely anxious about the amount of work it would involve, including the amount of time it would take to finish it. One of my goals during this whole exprience was to do whatever it took to minimize the interruptions in my daily life. I didn’t want to miss out on family time because I had homework. I was determined to go to every karate tournament, baseball game, and any other fun activity we had planned. This was a lofty goal, especially when taking courses in the summer, due to compressing a semester of work into four-week sessions. Assignments were due every other day and an exam was every week during June and July.
But I was determined not to let the course work interfere with my life. So what did I do? I woke up at 4AM to study, I stayed up late to take exams. Now, don’t get me wrong, I had a few Saturdays that I spent several hours at a desk writing research papers or working problems in my economics class (ugh!). I also endured two summers of karate tournaments lugging around my laptop so that I could do homework either in the hotel room or in between competitions in the hotel lobby. All this to tell you that I never had felt determination to finish something like I did during those years. I proved to myself that with hard work and the right mind-set I could do anything.
As I mentioned, I know there are more courageous things others are doing, but from my perspective, this was a major accomplishment for me. Getting my MBA was never on my bucket list, but I am so thankful that I had the opportunity. The process taught me things about myself that I may not have otherwise uncovered.
Just a side note, my favorite assignment was a research paper about competitive strategy. I had to choose a publicly traded company and research their external and internal environments, finacial activity, and company culture. My company of choice was lululemon athletica inc. Not only are their products premium, but their company culture is modern and sustainable for the future. #thisisnotanad
The Write Words 